Prep Headmaster's Weekly Blog

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Prep Headmaster's Weekly Blog

Be careful what you wish for…

Dear all,

Have you ever read one of the Little Miss or Mr Men books? If so, you will recognise Mr Perfect. I have another question for you - would you rather be perfect, or accepted for who you are? If you chose perfection over acceptance, what would ‘perfect’ look like for you?

Whilst many people describe themselves as perfectionists, it isn’t necessarily a positive trait. Perfectionism is striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluation and worrying about what other people think of you.

Perfectionism drives people to attempt to achieve an unattainable ideal and when they don’t reach their goals, the consequences are negative. Ironically, the pursuit of success actually keeps the perfectionist focused on failure, completely undermining any success.

Michael J Fox, the actor who lives with Parkinson’s Disease, said

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business”.

Perfectionists consider themselves to be failing unless they reach their own impossibly high standards. They are not resilient because even mild setbacks are seen as catastrophes. The push for perfection is undermining what our young people need in order to succeed and be happy. We want to launch our pupils into young adulthood, poised to be successful, not perfect. In a post-COVID world, they need Friendship, Trust, Wisdom, Compassion, Endurance, Humility and Hope more than ever. They need to be curious about a world we don’t know yet, equipped with the creativity and innovation for solutions and strategies for that which is not yet imagined.

We know from the work of Carol Dweck that children can’t be perfect; life rewards taking risks, setting challenges and seizing opportunities; mindsets are at the heart of this. Some mindsets make us afraid to try and end up keeping us trapped in perfectionism. However, with a growth mindset, effort is what activates ability, and setbacks are a natural part of learning.

In our culture, we move relentlessly towards greater emphasis on achievement, but as educators we resist this and ask children what they have learned, not their grade. We do this to avoid measuring their lives only in terms of achievement or losing the capacity for wonder and awe. Imagine looking at a rainbow and complaining that the width of one colour was narrower than another? Ridiculous, and yet that is exactly what we do when we judge ourselves for our imperfections. The potentially devastating consequences of perfectionism on mental health need to be recognised. Even mild cases can interfere with a child’s quality of life, affecting personal relationships, education and health.

Today, however, the impossible standards are set much closer to home, not by celebrities and models but by classmates and friends. With social media, our children can curate their lives; resulting feeds read like highlights, showing only the best and most enviable moments, while concealing efforts, struggles and the ordinary aspects of day-to-day life. We compare other people’s polished, edited final-cut movies to our own behind the scenes, unedited, fly-on-the-wall documentaries. There’s evidence that those images are causing distress for many of our children.

We must help our children be comfortable with imperfection because we will not protect them from failure, and we cannot make everything easy. We want them to feel accepted for being imperfect, for trying their best, for risk taking and for persisting when it would be easier to give up. We are not perfect because we are a work in progress; striving, failing and bouncing back, applying our effort into the journey of becoming ourselves. Perfection is unachievable, unimaginable and undesirable.

I’m only human - what about you? Would you rather be perfect or accepted for who you are?

Jason Whiskerd

Pupil Awards

VLM Point Winners

Recognising pupils who consistently demonstrate our School values of Virtue, Learning and Manners is always a pleasure.

The children with the most VLM points are invited for a special treat at the end of each term. Congratulations to all.

'How does your garden grow?' - Big Spring Plant Up

EYFS and KS1 had lots of fun sprucing up the flower beds this week. They worked with our parent volunteers to plant the flowers and shrubs and it was great to see their care and enthusiasm. The children were able to learn the names of the plants and think about how to look after them. There was certainly plenty of watering going on! Thank you to all of our volunteers and well done children. We look forward to seeing the gardens come to life, so hurry up summer!

Flickr album: EYFS & KS1 Big Spring Plant Up 2024 | Height: auto | Theme: Default | Skin: Default Skin

Year 4 Celebrate DNA Day

This week, Year 4 had a fascinating visit from Mr Dhami from Illumina, a company developing DNA sequencing technology. The pupils were captivated as they learnt mind-blowing facts about DNA, like how all the DNA in a human could stretch to the sun and back 600 times! We explored how decoding the genome could tackle global challenges like disease and food shortages.

And to celebrate DNA Day, pupils extracted DNA from strawberries to show the differences. Both pupils and staff were astounded by the potential of this cutting-edge tech and left feeling inspired. Huge thanks to Mr Dhami for this brilliant opportunity.

Flickr album: Year 4 DNA Day 2024 | Height: auto | Theme: Default | Skin: Default Skin

Sport News

U11A Football (Semi-Finals)

A huge well done to our U11A boys’ football team who played Great Dunmow Primary School yesterday. The boys battled valiantly in their semi-final in a game where the standard of football and physicality was impressive. Great Dunmow pounced on their opportunities to take a commanding lead. The resilience and determination of our boys was impressive as they brought a 5-1 deficit to 5-3 but, unfortunately, the comeback was not to be. We are very proud of the team’s efforts this year. Well done to all the boys who represented the School fantastically well, as they have all season, and the fight at the end showed how far they have come as a group.

Year 4 Fixtures v New Hall

Well done to the Year 4 children who played in the cricket matches against New Hall yesterday. Luckily, the weather held out allowing several impressive performances whether it be through fielding, bowling and/or batting. The majority of the scores fell in favour of Brentwood, which was pleasing and a result of the children’s development over the last number of years. We look forward to rotating the teams for the remaining children in Year 4 to play their first match soon.

Additional Sporting Success

Well done to Ruby E whose hockey team, Knole Park Hockey Club, won the South East regional U10 hockey tournament last weekend. Ruby clearly played a significant role for her team as she was the highest goal scorer in the tournament.
On Monday, we celebrated a number of Silver awards achieved by Olivia-Rae C in a recent gymnastics competition.
Good luck to Ria M who represents the U11 Essex County girls’ cricket team on Saturday.
Finally, well done to Chloe A who represented Brentwood in the National Schools’ Ski Race Leagues Finals today, which took place in Gloucester. Due to the timing of editing this week’s blog, Chloe’s results will not have been confirmed so we look forward to adding them into next week’s entry.

Click here for our Sport Weekly programme, including fixture arrangements and other updates.

Brentwood School Tennis Academy Holiday Camp

We are running a Brentwood School Tennis Academy holiday camp during the May half-term and summer holidays.

All ability levels are welcome and the camps are open to anyone, from any school, aged between five and fourteen years old. The camp will provide players with an opportunity to enjoy developing their tennis skills under the guidance of our Academy tennis coaches led by LTA Level 5 coach, Mark Simpson-Crick.

The May tennis camp costs £45 per day or £120 for all 3 days and runs from the 28th - 30th May 2024. Our Summer Camps are running throughout July and cost £45 per day or £160 for a full 4-day week. This covers all training and competition prizes.

To find out more information, please click here for our BSTA Tennis Camps flyer.

Alternatively, you can contact Mr Simpson-Crick via email: [email protected] or book online here.

Sunday Chapel Service to celebrate Pentecost

You are most warmly invited to join us for a very special Sunday Service in Chapel on Sunday 19th May at 10am as we celebrate Pentecost which marks the birth of the Church. I am delighted that we will have our Junior Choir (Years 3 and 4) with us who will help to lead our worship and singing. The Service will be suitable for all ages and open to all within the wider community of Brentwood School and beyond. Parking will be available on the school site and can be accessed by entering the School through the gates at Middleton Hall Lane. Parking will be in Library Square which is a short walk to Chapel. Refreshments (and cake!) will be served after the service so please do let me know if you are able to join us so that we can cater accordingly. I look forward to welcoming you to this service.

With every blessing

Revd. Adrian McConnaughie

[email protected]

Chapel Services 2023-24

Throughout the year, there are regular Sunday Chapel Services which are open to all within the wider community of Brentwood School. Most of the services begin at 10am and are suitable for people of all ages.

The details of all our services for this academic year can be found in our Service Booklet which is attached. If you are planning to attend, I would appreciate a short email so that I can cater accordingly for those who come. I look forward to welcoming you to our Services.

Revd. Adrian McConnaughie

[email protected]