Handle Hard Better

Dear all

In Monday’s assembly, we considered the Italian concept of ‘sprezzatura‘ and how we often – perhaps mistakenly – look forward to things getting easier.

Italian is one the oldest languages in the world – it’s also one of the most lyrical and inventive, with rich, rolling intonation and vocabulary. The English language has adopted many of its words and phrases, such as fiasco, extravaganza or the many different versions of coffee that are now so popular up and down the UK.

As with most languages, some words don’t have direct translations – ‘culaccino,’ for example, is the mark left on a wooden table by an ice-filled class and ‘abbiocco’ describes the lethargy we feel in the afternoons after a long lunch.

‘Sprezzatura’ is another such word. Defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as ‘studied carelessness’, its meaning is much more evocative than that. It’s often described as the art of making something that is difficult, look easy, or the ability to maintain a nonchalant demeanour when performing difficult tasks. A footballer who can dribble without seeming to break sweat, a sprinter who runs at breakneck speed but with a grace that makes it look easy, or a person who seems at ease even in the most stressful of situations.

The word ‘sprezzatura’ comes from The Book of the Courtier, written in the 16th Century by Baldassare Castiglione – it’s a book of advice about how to be an ideal courtier, someone who advised and spent time around a Prince or King. The quality of ‘sprezzatura’ was regarded as being a key ingredient for success in this role.

But is it actually a good thing?

In today’s world, a lot of our culture seems to promote the ‘cult of easy’. Phrases such as ‘take it easy’ or ‘she makes it look so easy’, or describing someone as ‘easy-going’ imply that this is something to which we should all be aspiring.

Kara Lawson is an American basketball coach – she was Head Coach of the women’s team at Duke University. One of her team talks went viral on social media a couple of years ago – in it, she said that no-one should be aiming to have an easy life, whether that is in sport or more generally. Her view is there’s no such thing, but also that it’s not something to aspire to either. Instead, she encouraged her team to ‘Handle Hard Better’ – in other words, anything in life that’s worth having is likely to be difficult to achieve, but this is exactly why it’s worth it. Dealing with hard things, pushing back, finding a way, and improving every day are the qualities that make life worth living.

The reality is, of course, that the people who probably follow this approach to life are often those who end up demonstrating the concept of ‘sprezzatura’. Those who achieve highly may look as though they aren’t trying when the reality is they really are (and probably have been for a long time).

There are lots of motivational videos and posters that encourage us to pick ourselves up when we fail, to keep on trying, and to show determination and stamina in pursuit of our goals. It’s easy to say but difficult to keep doing – life is a series of struggles but perhaps the important thing is to welcome and embrace this, rather than letting it overwhelm us. A challenge is not a problem to worry about – it is a stimulus to action. Or, to put it more earthily, the only thing that ever sat its way to success is a hen.

Have a great weekend

Best wishes

Michael Bond